You might remember a few years ago I broke up with my partner of seven years, booked a four month backpacking trip around Europe, met a guy and immediately moved to Canberra upon my return. Sounds drastic? I couldn’t agree more. Instagram would have you believe it has been all smooth sailing, pretty picnic dates and love at first sight, however, there is a lot more to it than a decision and a happily ever after, it takes work to uproot your life and settle into someone else’s. So with that note, here is everything you need to know about moving cities to be with the love of your life.
When I first made the decision to move to Canberra I did so without thinking, I packed a bag expecting to be there a couple of weeks, but that couple of weeks turned into a few months, a new job and a new relationship. Upon my arrival, we both agreed I would stay at his place and just ‘see how things go’ which was all well and good, I was still in travel mode so I could explore Canberra and its surrounds and I had the prospects of a brand new relationship to keep me in a bubble for a while. Although, I would soon find after a few months life caught up with me and I begun to realise a few things.
You will both be different people
You won’t be the same person he met and the good news is, neither will he. When travelling solo, you become the best possible version of yourself. Needless to say, when you return home, you will have changed, you will slip into old habits and routines and so will he so it can be hard to adjust. On the plus side, although you will both be different from the people who fell in love in that bar of Galway or that tour in Rome, you will know each other in a way no one else can.
You will find yourself fitting into their life
Moving to a new city on your own, you’re forced to find a place to live, find your own friends, explore in the way you want to explore. However, moving to be with someone else, well, you are fitting into their already set structure of a life and you may find yourself in a complacent bubble of just hanging out with their friends, eating at their favourite places and it can be hard to know when it is ok to start adjusting the house to suit your needs and style as well, it makes it harder as well for him to see how you are, explore how you do things and how you interact with your friends.
You might not love the city… at first
Normally moving cities you do so because you want to move there, you’ve been to the city before and you fell in love. On the other hand, moving cities for a guy you fell in love with is a completely different experience. In my case, I had never been to Canberra, I never had any intention of visiting Canberra and I will be honest, upon my arrival I grew bored of Canberra really quickly. It is a hard adjustment moving from a semi big city to a small one especially after spending four months exploring some of the biggest and most beautiful places in the world. With time I grew to love Canberra, it took time exploring the
Here’s my advice
Have him come to stay with you first. You have already decided you are moving there, you’ve packed your bags, you’re looking for jobs and joining friendship apps (more on that later), but the first thing you must do first is have him come to you. This is a perfect opportunity for you to introduce him to your family, friends and show him your favourite places. Not only will this help him understand you but it will help you in the long run with adjusting to your new life, he might know of similar cafes, dance classes or friends he could introduce you to. The transition will be smoother and your friends won’t think you’re as crazy and they will get to see what you see in him.
Join friendship apps, I found Canberra to be very clicky when it comes to their friendship circles so it was hard to make friends. However, there are many people who are new to town and thinking the same thing. Friendship apps like Bumble BFF or Meetup are a great way to meet like minded people and make some of your own friends.
It is never easy moving away from home, I have been lucky as the guy I feel in love with happened to only be a 12 hour drive away and still in the same country but moving away is still a big adjustment. You will miss home, your friends and your family. It can be easy to get caught up in these feelings and the love bubble and find yourself staying home most days, you just have to remember, you aren’t just there to fall in love with a guy, you are there to fall in love with a new city and a new place to call home.
Have you moved cities to be with someone you met travelling? I would love to hear your story, feel free to leave a comment in the section below!